That's easier for me to accept. It's not the same with another man. This other guy doesn't threaten me, as another woman would." I don't want to hurt ...ou, okay?" I said. "It's just that...", and before I could finish, Melanie added: "But you need a sexual outlet. I understand that. I do. I really do!"She gave my hand a pull, and I leaned over and we kissed.Then, as I stood up, she said: "Now go. You don't want to be late. I'll be fine here. The nurse will be here shortly."It felt strange to be. They were the hazel he'd hoped so desperately to see again, but they were unfocused. Her hand gripped his, as she took a deep breath.Then all hell broke loose as she expelled that breath in a primal scream of terror, her eyes wide and sightless. The scream was agonized and impossibly loud. It shook him to his core and he tried to step back, but her hand gripped his like iron.First one and then two more nurses dashed into the room, shouting questions—asking him what he'd done. They didn't wait. Secondly, I no longer get to touch myself for pleasure. At ALL. No masturbating for a LONG time! Any time I get an urge and the body reacts as a guy, it physically hurts. Does that mean that I no longer have sexual urges? Of course not! What I am conditioning myself to do is get the male to female equivalent of a genetic girl getting wet. Sarina Valentina is a great example. Watch her videos and you will see that her “cock” doesn’t get hard, you never see her cum in a video, and her thing is. Hypothetical. All I had was hypothetical knowledge of the way I thought things were supposed to work between a man and a woman, like they’d give cogent thought to each step of the path between holding hands and, like in those old movies, waves crashing on the beach.We came (and that’s a bad choice of words, I think) close to being inundated by those waves. I keep telling myself that I don’t want to make that final move until, as I told Jay, we’re sure. Trouble is, I’m lying on my back in this.
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